Inspiration / Video

Shitty Firsts

Hey friends! It’s been a while since I have posted anything, and to be honest, I have been a very bad girl. LOT’S of procrastination and falling in line with tasks assigned to me by my inner critics. I have quite literally locked my creativity away (yes- all of my art supplies have been under lock and key!) and have been focusing on chores and household tasks rather than focusing on the things that bring me real JOY.

Now- don’t get me wrong. I have still been “working” on my projects in my minds eye. Ideas have been floating around, taking different shapes and growing larger. Some of them have grown larger than life and seem a bit out of control- too scary to even begin. I have perfected nearly every project in my mind to the point where I could never possibly reach the level of perfection my mind has conjured. In that regard I have set myself up for failure in the physical realm. How can I ever start now, knowing that it would be nowhere near the perfection of what I see in my mind?

Two days ago I was perusing Facebook in my natural mindless fashion when I came across a post by my friend Tim. It was a video blog from a man named Ze Frank called Chase That Happy. It was about singling out those moments and activities in life that bring you happiness and joy- and then chasing it! You do it just because it feels good, and because you love it. It doesn’t matter if people think it’s weird or unconventional. All that matters is it makes you happy.

This lead me down a Ze Frank sized rabbit hole, where I gorged myself on nearly every one of his videos. I finally came across a video called Brain Crack– in the video Frank describes the addictive process of holding onto ideas rather than letting them out into the world. I realized that I am addicted to brain crack. I hold onto ideas and become obsessed with letting them bounce around in my head, becoming too large to let loose into the world. Then I did something I didn’t quite expect… I picked up my camera.

No makeup. Unshowered. And in stretch pants. I proceded to make the following video. My shitty first video. And then I edited it. No transitions, no fancy cutaways or voiceovers. No titles. Just me- rambling. And it- felt- gooooooooood. All of the conditions were “wrong” by the standards of my inner perfectionist and yet it still managed to come out, well, not so shitty.

I HIGHLY recommend and encourage you to take an idea you have been holding onto and set it free from your mind. Let it out into the sunshine to play! I have found encouragement from friends and family- even praise for the quality of video itself! I have also developed new and doable ideas! I have more ideas and motivation to do MORE videos! I even shot one yesterday. I am editing it today, and will hopefully post when I get back from our sailing trip on Saturday. Most importantly- I have stepped through this veil of fear and self criticism that kept me from moving forward with my projects. AS SOON as I started- as soon as I picked up the video camera– my inspiration grew wings, and my inner critics grew silent and cowered into the darkness.

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One thought on “Shitty Firsts

  1. Pingback: Inner Critics | When In Roam

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